A Reflection on Pregnancy

A comparison of my two pregnancies

Well I’m down to the last 12 days before my estimated due date and it can’t get here fast enough for me. I am very ready to meet you little girl and am definitely over the whole pregnancy thing. As your arrival looms so close, I can’t help comparing your pregnancy with that of your older brother’s three years ago.

This pregnancy has gone much smoother than my first did and has been all together healthier. I started off healthier and continued to exercise regularly and eat healthy (mostly) throughout which greatly contributed I think. In fact the best side effect I had with this pregnancy was my obsession with working out. For the first time in my life I awoke nearly every morning with the desire to exercise. I still have that desire, but the aches and pains have seriously limited what I can do in these last couple weeks of pregnancy. I’m not expecting my newfound love of exercise to stick around after you arrive, little girl, but even if it doesn’t it was fantastic while it lasted.

With your brother I suffered several ailments (kidney stones, broken toe, Bells palsy) and with your pregnancy I have had none of these issues. However, the biggest difference has been hormonal. I was completely even-keeled during my first pregnancy, but this one has been a whirlwind of emotions. I’ve been irritable, sad, angry, and even depressed throughout the entire pregnancy with no idea what each day would bring. Some days I was my regular old self and other days I hardly recognized myself. It has definitely been a long nine months for me and your dad and brother (sorry guys). Physically I feel much stronger and more prepared this go around, but emotionally it has been exhausting. I really thought the whole trope about pregnant women being hormonal was blown way out of proportion during my first pregnancy, but now I completely see where this notion comes from.

As the pregnancy comes to an end I am both saddened a bit by the idea that this is the last time I will feel a baby growing inside me and excited to be through with this chapter of my life. I think you understood my desire to soak up this last beautiful experience as much as possible and thus you moved so insanely frequently and violently inside me I can now say I am ready to be done. Seriously. You contorted my belly so much I had strangers in public give me horrified looks when my shirt began poking out at crazy angles and degrees. I looked like I was birthing an alien. I will always remember the way it felt to have my hipbone and ribs stretched and punched at the same time internally. You are so active, even in these last few days that I wonder if you will ever sleep once you are born. It definitely doesn’t feel like you sleep much now.

I don’t know what to expect from your actual labor. I pray it is much quicker than your brother’s (30+ hours) and at least this time I will know what to expect going into it. Your brother was born at 38 weeks so it looks as though you are going to make me wait a bit longer than he did. I do know I am just as excited to meet you as I was with your brother. I can’t wait to see what you look like and hold you in my arms for the first time. And when you look up into my face for the first time I know I will feel completely at ease and as if I’ve known you forever, just as I did with your brother. Just thinking about that moment gets me emotional. So be it a long and laborious labor or a quick and exciting one, it will be worth every ounce of pain and tear shed to finally have you part of our family. So not to rush you, baby girl, but you can come whenever you are ready because we certainly are ready to meet you!

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